Single parenthood is a lot of navigating treacherous waters. Now, I am lucky that I am in another relationship with a man who loves my child and me, and has helped to fill in a lot of the spaces for the kiddo. But some of the time, single parenthood feels like I spend some of my time lying.
Because I do. Even now, it might seem like I protect the ex when he doesn’t show up or never calls in between the few hours he has him. I brush it off or explain it away as, “Daddy having to work, but he misses you so much.” I have never lied to my child. I have always been honest, and I was happily planning on staying so, but now, on occasion, I bend the truth. I am not protecting the ex, I am protecting a young, wild, amazing heart. My child is my greatest gift, my very best part. He is unique and kind and smart and funny. I love to spend time with him, and if there is someone who isn’t making the effort, it is truly their loss.
I often hear people who are divorced say that they regret ever getting into their marriage. That if they could do it over again, well, hindsight is telling. But I don’t personally believe that. I will not go into details, in this blog, but on my darkest days, when my heart feels sad and sorry, I try to remind myself of something. My love story is not the one that was meant to be with my ex. My love story, is even better than one where time can alter and dull it. I was meant to be with him. I was meant to marry him, and fall in love, madly, and completely with a little boy who was the result, and will always hold my heart.