Family · Happiness · Love

Nobody wears white gloves here anyway

I woke up this morning with a cold. The kind where your head feels swimmy and your nose constantly runs. I surveyed my house. Even though I had steam cleaned my floors this week, one of the cats already had thrown up and put a new stain on them. Dirty laundry was piled high, dishes were in the sink, and my dining room table was filled with crayons and drawings. These are the days that I struggle with. It feels like I am constantly fighting a losing battle with clutter and mess and my to do list is seventy miles long. Some days I just want to not clean. My ex husband always complained if the house was even the slightest bit out of order. He didn’t understand that when you stay home with a kid all day and you fill your day with fun activities that there may be dishes in the sink, or clothes still in the dryer. I look back at pictures and my house was always clean, even though it wasn’t to his standards, and everyone looks happy. Except for me. If I was even in the picture, most times I was behind the camera, trying hard to commemorate the memory of dad being home with us. Now if I took a picture you would probably see the line of Skylanders sitting on the tv stand; library books in a pile on the floor of the kiddo’s room; and the drawings of Logan and me, or Logan and the boyfriend, or Logan and something to do with Minecraft. I am struck by how less stressful the environment of home seems now. I’m not constantly anxious about not living up to unattainable standards. I look forward to the boyfriend coming home, rather than uneasy that I might have done something wrong. I feel happier and loved, and if there is laundry left in the basket, I may very well come out and find the boyfriend folding it. And that is what really matters. A person that over looks your dirty laundry and will help anyway.

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3 thoughts on “Nobody wears white gloves here anyway

  1. aaaaaawww, you do sound more at peace with you, happy place to be. Logan must be your son. Looking forward to read more of your posts. πŸ™‚

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