Today I got a text message that I read during my lunch break from the boyfriend. Here is a snippet: “The past year has flown by and we went through a lot of stuff….and are still very much in love.”
You guys……. it made me glow. Reading it again just now a rush of happiness came over me. It’s so true. I always used to think people who would talk about being in love and their relationships were silly, and maybe they are, but I’m silly now too. I just feel happy. And even when there are days when I am nothing more than a puddle of mope on the couch who can’t get my shit together, except to perhaps binge eat chocolate and drink wine, he doesn’t mind. He tells me I’m beautiful and a wonderful mommy and wipes tears from my eyes when they seem endless. I have never had that in my life. Never. It is something that feels soft and safe and like maybe I deserve people that support me.
He listens to me talk on and on. About my day, Logan, my blog, the animals, my fears, dreams, you name it, I don’t feel scared or self conscious around him. I tell him all the deep dark stuff too. Complete honesty even when it is difficult. I don’t get screamed at or called names or made to feel foolish….. all which I have experienced at one time or another in my life for just being myself. It is nice to feel loved. To be respected and valued, and treated like you are a fantastic human being, even if you don’t feel that way.It feels like home.