I kind of fell off the Blogmas train. I guess after writing thirty nine days straight, I needed a break. I’ve been not feeling my best, as I caught this strange stomach bug/ cold of nightmares combo. I’m finally able to breathe out of one nostril again….once in a while, so I’m getting better. It was just hard to maintain everything I had to do when all I wanted to do was sleep and snuggle under blankets.
Source: Life’s Little Treasures
Lately though, my thoughts have turned to the end of the year and resolutions. I’m not quite sure that I can make a definitive resolution just yet, but as I do my monthly goals, I was thinking of picking a word that I want to focus on for the year. A word that I can apply to all aspects of my life. I think I have one, and will be sharing it closer to the new year.
2015 has been a learning year for me. Learning is what I say to put a positive spin on a year that has been trying and difficult. Learning fits too though, because I have grown a lot. There were weeks and months that I was consumed with grief, regret, fear, and depression. More often than not, probably. I couldn’t wrap my head around all of the change or even that fact that I initiated it. I felt so sad. I still do, but there are some days where I feel different.
I notice that this past year, my home has not been filled with yelling. The difference is incredibly noticeable. There is no throwing things or holes in the walls. No one is storming off and driving away or staying out and not coming home. There are no constant lies. There is no fear about every word out of my mouth “pushing the wrong button.” But there is also more. There are more pets, which in my opinion is always a good thing. There are more smiles and cuddles and late night conversations. There is more time together and home cooked meals. There is more respect and safety and love.
If did not have 2015, I would not have had those lovely things too. Soon it will be a new year, but every day is a new day and a chance to appreciate the good and make peace with the bad.