I’ve been thinking a lot about facebook. Which is ridiculous, but I have loved social media since the very beginning. I find it as a nice way to connect with people who I don’t see on the regular. But here is what I discovered as of late. The people I thought were friends on social media AND in real life….. most, not so much. I did something I have never done. After the ex refused to turn the child and the people I thought were friends didn’t even care I DELETED. That might not be a big deal, but I HAVE NEVER DELETED ANYONE. EVER. I decided to lighten my facebook friends by over 200 people. Even people who had been my close friend just a year or two before.Hard times really show you what type of friend people are actually.
I know I have been a shitty friend in some ways, but I also know there are some people who failed me miserably. Family and close friends who I valued and thought were like way up there on the friend hierarchy. It hurt. It all hurts. I’m tired of hurting!
So I decided something today. I am going on a social media hiatus. Has anyone ever done this? I don’t know how long it will last, but I need to cleanse my life. I’m too sensitive to all the negative people and comments. I need a break. Boundaries. I’m doing it one step at a time.
Life Already in Progress 
Ohh I love deleting people. I don’t do it often, usually I just mute them or hide them – but there are a few people who I have just had enough with. I’ve never gone on a hiatus, but have thought about it! Keep us updated with how yours goes 🙂
-Rosie
http://www.hookupcultures.com
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I definitely will update about it. I plan on still blogging and of course I can’t stay away from my true online love, Pinterest! 🙂
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I usually think the people I want to delete- bigoted people for instance, are people who need to see my loud and proud attitude of fairness and love and equity.
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The people who are bigoted, I don’t delete generally either. I am completely open minded and very liberal, and I feel like spreading the word that equality, love, and acceptance is a good thing. Those people I could never be actually friends with in real life, simply because my lifestyle and beliefs are so opposite. Unfortunately sometimes they are family members that believe that, in my case…. ugh. 😉
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I feel your hurt. I have deleted/un-liked/unfollowed a lot of people during and since the divorce. I am feeling a need to go thru again, just for a fresh start. I have made myself stop liking everything someone puts on there or sharing something unless it really speaks to me. It seems like a lot of people just want to friend you to know your business. So keeping my comments on there to a bare minimum, let them wonder!
The friends that stick with you during all this and stay true after are the keepers! hang in there!
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That is exactly how I feel. I need to regroup. I need a fresh start and I feel like a lot of people were reporting back to the ex, and then I was hearing about it. Even simple things like a picture of my son, and I would get a comment from him even though my fb is private. So I deleted everyone that was a mutual friend or might be connected to him in any way. They were seeing him and his girlfriend post nasty mean things about me which whatever, but me as a parent and it was lies and hurtful and they never mentioned it nor stuck up for me. So it feels like a loss, but in reality it isn’t.
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mine would make sure he posted a pic of him and one of the kids doing something together and then the comments from ‘friends’ would say what a great dad he was. I got tired of seeing how he manipulated it. If you just put your children’s feelings first, you will be fine. In the end, taking the high road will be remembered by the kids (the most important) even though sometimes you really, really don’t want to!
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I have a similar problem! I am just trying to not engage at all!
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Oh I’m on hiatus right now. I used to be very active but once all this divorce thing started I just stopped. I didn’t delete anyone but I’m very inclined to do what you did. I stopped commenting or liking anything. I sometimes share something that’s profound to autism but I keep it to a minimum. So many people have let me down in my only time of need. They don’t deserve me. That’s my conclusion 🙂
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I’ve certainly done it for about a year once before I believe. Then I came back and actually deleted all of my husbands friends and family as I couldn’t take the pain from his betrayal. I deleted some friends that I had from a long time ago but were constantly posting saying “look at me” and well it was annoying. LOL
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My friend does Facebook-free-feb each year. I am way too entrenched. Plus, it’s marketing to a potential fan base for my blog. Your “friends” on average only see 7% of what you post on Facebook. Unfortunately, social media lets people craft an image of who they want to be… some of my best “friends” I have never met in real life. Sorry you are going through a rough time. Virtual hugs.
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In the midst of the marriage I did a year without FB, it was freeing. Then I decided to one by one delete ever friend I had. Connect “meaningfully” IRL. I find a lot of divorcees feel a need to do this. Connect with people ..not false realities that FB becomes. And as you say, the shared connections, allowing your ex a window to your life. I’ve made peace with it now. FB is my coordination tool with new people I meet. It’s a shallow window into my life, and I don’t need to post anything that is emotionally deep. I also don’t need to interact, like or generally exist on FB at all. My true friends shouldn’t care about a like or a comment on FB anyway. I send texts instead, “hey saw your message about xyz, hope you’re doing well” “saw it was your birthday. happy bday” etc.
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